the morrissey mythology

THE FOLLOWING IS AN UNFINISHED BLOG UPDATE.
PROCEED W/ CAUTION


it's common knowledge that i'm a huge morrissey fan.
being a dude and a morrissey super fan comes w/ a lot of baggage.
you have to constantly be on the defense.
people are always threatened by something they don't understand.
i find it curious and funny that it's O.K. to like David Bowie and QUEEN when they also were shrouded in sexual ambiguity, falsetto vocals and over dramatic stage presence.
there is no mystery to there sexuality. theyv'e confirmed there dual citizenship.
it's must be so much eaiser to be a Hootie and the blowfish fan.

people can't seem to get there heads around the fact that he doesn't have a sexual agenda.
i think he manages to be much more interesting because of that fact alone.
when you think about the fact that most dudes spend in up too 80% of waking hours thinking, plotting and obcessing about sex. running around w/ a kickstand trying to trick, manuiuplate and sell there business to some unsuspecting female.


there are tons of Morrissey myths.
so i thought i might take this time too squash a few tales. snuff some untruths and put the record straight.


myth one......
Morrissey was discovered floating down the Nile river in a reed woven basket.
this is partially true.
it was accutally the Rio Grande in circa 1462. this can partially trace his strange cult like relationship too his Hispanic fan base. and his love of Wicker furniture

myth two........
Morrissey has never had sex and has taken a vow of celibacy.
this is totally inaccurate. he has had sex close too one million times. the first time was w/ sasquatch. and it was conscenual. next w/ Madonna and the last million times was w/ all of your mothers. reference the Lyric "small girls mothers are bigger than other girls mothers"

Myth three........
Morrissey has blashemyed Jesus and God publicly. but was raised in a strict irish catholic upbringing.
Morrissey is controled by gama-light, Kryptonite and samsonite. he answers to no one.
and fronts a Norwegian Black Metal Band called Vomitstorm.