smells like christmas........

playlist

playlist

super danger.

super danger.

here comes tiffany..........

WOW.

Tiffany was down w/ the crew in the "back in the day" type shit
she went to S.F. a.k.a "SUCKA FREE" like 6 years ago.
she thought "Hey, i'm cool. i like denim. i like bagels. maybe somewhere in S.F. there was a place that also loved denim and bagels.
she did. she found the temperture "calvin" . and a dog named "BAXTER"

She's been gone so long we thought maybe she forgot about us.
the only thing we forgot was how tight tiff really is......

in the spirit of TIFF. here's the TOP 10 TALES OF TIFF TIGHT'NESS


Tiffany is the first person to let you know that "she's talking"
and when she's talking. you better not be talking.

she also invented the common phrase "if i don't eat soon i'm going to die"
as long as i've known Tiffany she has never died.

she loves denim. her street name is the "DENIMANIAC"

she introduced me to the movie BOTTLEROCKET.

she knows an old lady who got electructued while she was nude in the shower. and it burnt her boob.

she has a brother named TODD. for real

she was wearing cowboy boots before you

she went to school w/ Mila Jovavitch

her mom married a guy named STEVE. now she talks too STEVE all the time.

Tiffany is very awesome.

the axis of evil vs the axe effect

one million years ago the spanish invaded england.
they were both in a high rennaissance of art, music and culture.
america was just a small elite social club. and not yet a sexy, young and lethal international super power.
my friend Seth came too visit. he is from england. he is dangerous w/ a knife, immune to most poisons. only crys when he watches E.T. . has no visible tattoo's. and is on my TOP 25 all-time dudes list. he also changed his name too "SETHTRIS" after the russian video puzzle game called "TETRIS"


i made him do tons of american type stuff.
here's a visual diary of what we did.
















here is Seth w/ Flava Flav of the reality Show Flava of Love
















here he is just after meeting Lance Armstrong. Seth loves bicycles and dudes w/ one testicle.















John is from Scotland. here he is posing in front of the Native Scotish Flower. idlewild. he speaks spanish. french and beer.
















"P.O.T.Y" PIMP of the YEAR poses w/ Don Magic Juan.
















here's Seth at LEGO-LAND, Walt DisneyLand and Jurassic Park.

greatest moments in history

the civil war was waged between the north and the south. it was fought and won exclusively by clowns and prostitutes.
COPS the t.v show was originally filmed underwater by giant squids. squids versions of justice is swift and violent. the theme song however was still performed by Inner Circle. and started out w/ the signature "HUH!!!" "BAD BOYS"

the only way to take an accurate tempature of the surface of the sun is call the sun and say ..........
"Hey,"
"Hey Sun, is it HOT up there you asshole?"
and if it says nothing........it's really fucking hot!!

The first 25 presidents were all right handed. some of the other ones were left handed.
a very left handed Abraham Lincoln was not Honest at all. he lied about the Cherry Treeand the whole reading by Candle light deal.


when Marconi first invented the telephone he used it too order a pizza. the pizza arrived 25 minutes late. he got it for free. and then forgot about the technology entirely.
he later traded the designs too Alexander Grahamn Bell for porn mags and corn nuts.

if you type the numbers 58008 in a calculator and turn it upside down it says BOOBS.

why don't they get married........

people get married all the time.
they plan, plot and pick floral arrangements.
they decide who sits where and what songs they'll dance too.
they write and stumble nervously thru vows.
they obcess, worry and wait.
but they can never prepare for the wacky uncle.
he will drink, dance and be "that Guy"

"DRUNK UNCLE" looks like that shaved head guy w/ the beard.

excuses.